What is it exactly about humans and the remote control? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was some sort of holy grail by the way they go hunting for it whenever it’s been misplaced. One thing’s for sure: it’s not likely to leave their hands when the TV is on.
Such is the case with my man human. He’s usually got one hand on the remote and using the other hand to either scratch himself or launch an index finger “rocket” into the nose “silo” (and he wonders why I don’t stay on his lap very long).
During one momentary lapse in judgement earlier tonight, I was on his lap chewing on my favorite rawhide while he watched some mindless TV (our girl human was out with the ladies on this Friday the 13th). Then, in an instant, I found myself seeing those cartoon stars and birds floating like a crib mobile around my head. Dagnabit if I hadn’t just been bonked with that thing.
It took me a minute or two to gather my thoughts. Had I gotten out of line causing him to feel the need to redirect my focus? Had I inadvertently stuck him in the groin with my claws making him jerk uncontrollably? Maybe he dozed off and dropped it right on top of me. I gotta tell ya, for a moment there, I was pretty cheesed off.
It was none of those, however. As I pulled myself together, I realized I had instinctively whipped my head around to my back left hip to scratch an itch with my teeth (weird, I know, but I couldn’t reach it any other way). As I did that, I hit the underside of the remote with my noggin. It was my fault. But I quickly realized it hadn’t been interpreted that way.
Whether or not he knew how it all went down I’m not sure. All I know is, in an instant, he began fawning all over me wanting to make sure I was okay and going into that annoying combination of baby/puppy talk where you can’t understand half of what he’s saying.
Needless to say, I took advantage of the moment and milked it pretty good. And boy do I need to learn to do that more often. I not only scored a snack, but the couch, a magazine and of course, the coup de gras. The remote control.
